Unraveling Prayer

Today’s prayer time was different. I am still here relaxing in my comfy chair with a fresh cup of coffee that warms my hands. My light blue fluffy blanket wraps me as I settle into the quietness of morning before dawn. My black miniature Berna-Doodle puppy, Rosie, is passed out on top of two sofa pillows with her favorite toy still in her mouth. Life is good. Really good.

Here’s the part that is different. It seemed only 10 minutes or so when I opened my eyes to refill my coffee. Turns out, it had been 45 minutes! ! I have yet to pray… at least not the way I typically do. I unraveled.

Random thoughts ebbed and flowed… in and out… one after another… sometimes connected… sometimes not. Leftover cares and unfinished business wanted to be acknowledged. I did not wrestle with them or cast them down as evil intruders. I relaxed into it. The stirring reminders of what happened and what needs to happen, slowed down until they somehow seemed to stop. That doesn’t sound like prayer.

I looked at the old grandfather clock and realized how long I had been sitting here… in the same chair where I now write. Lord, I’m sorry for not praying.

Here’s the beauty. Whereas I was concerned that I had not done enough in those 45 minutes of precious time, I sensed the opposite in my heart. Peace met me. Shalom spoke to me in deep contentment. God had been with me through it all. Not only was He not upset, He had been waiting for me to simply sit with Him. In this place of not striving and “not” praying, He did the work of helping me unravel cares that weighed on my soul when I began.

I could write more, but I will pause and let the rest of my morning prayer…

simply

be