Moses’ Lost Identity
So Moses was educated in all the learning of the Egyptians, and possessed great influence through his eloquence and his achievements. Acts 7:22 Weymouth TranslationSomewhere along the line, Moses changed from being a powerful speaker to becoming an inferior stutterer on the back side of the desert.
When still a member of Pharoah’s household, people literally bowed when he walked into the room. Some trembled. Everyone knew they had better not mess with the man or it might lead to imprisonment or possibly death. There were no ifs, ands, or buts, about it. His commanding presence demanded respect, as did his unconquerable family.
Moses eventually messed up. Big time. He assumed the servants understood that he was their assigned deliverer, but he was wrong. Long story short, at the age of forty, he ended up killing someone. It was not premeditated but it happened nonetheless.
Pharoah heard the news and flipped out in uncontrollable wrath. Moses did the only thing he could to save his life. He ran as fast and hard as possible until he reached the wilderness, where despicable dwellers huddled and welcomed him as one of their own; a despised lowly shepherd.
The wilderness became his home for forty years when, at the age of eighty, he was shocked by a burning bush aflame with divine presence. Moses, Moses. The fire called out. Moses spoke back while taking off his shoes. Here I am, Lord. The moment was holy and needed to be treated as such.
The Lord gave clear instructions and empowered Moses to bring about deliverances. Moses, however, pulled back in unbelief regarding his inability to speak. Look at Exodus 4:10.
“But Moses pleaded with the LORD, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.””
I am not going to say that Moses intentionally lied about his inability to speak. I am going to say that he believed a lie. Listen to how he was described while living as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter.
“At that time Moses was born, and he was no ordinary child. For three months he was cared for by his family. When he was placed outside, Pharaoh’s daughter took him and brought him up as her own son. Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action.”
Did you hear that? Moses was educated in all the wisdom of Egypt and was powerful in words and deed, yet he told the Lord at the burning bush that he had never been able to speak well.
How did his confidence get so broken that he completely forgot who he had been?
I will not pretend to answer that question with loads of details. It was, after all, thousands of years ago. I can make a few educated guesses. It is possible that Moses might have been so impacted from trauma, that it changed him from eloquent to tongue-tied.
Life as he knew it for forty years in Pharoah’s house changed over night. That alone could be traumatic. Then add in; killing someone, becoming the target of Pharoah’s wrath, fleeing to survive, and hiding to remain safe. If trauma is as some people describe, Anything that rocks your world, then I think this scenario qualifies as traumatic.
Sometimes, trauma occurs because we blow it.. Other times, it hits because another person induced harm. Then again, there are inevitable times when an unexpected disaster or unfair happening knocks you to the ground, leaving you numb and in shock. We get lost, so to speak. We are not where we used to be, and we don’t know the path ahead. Our internal narrative gets damaged, and It is painful to dream or imagine.
Here’s good news, though. God is working within us, even in seasons when our life has flipped upside down. We might need to endure longer than we like, but keep going! God’s refining fire can remake us and cause beautiful things to be created out of loss. His holy presence can purge self-made arrogance and forge within us humility and true strength through dependency on God.
It seemed like the call on Moses’ life was ruined. But Thank God! Mercy kept going. The all powerful, all wise, ever present God never quit working His plan. Hell couldn’t stop it. Pharaoh couldn’t stop it. Even Moses couldn’t mess it up completely!
Divine destiny was not ruined by Moses’ initial unbelief. It took a while, but God’s plan for Moses as a deliverer still came to pass in spite of twists and turns and ups and downs.
It wasn’t long before Moses found his true voice as he remembered his God given identity. He was; a deliverer with a destiny, a lowly shepherd called to lead, and a carrier of heavenly fire.
He became known, once again, as being a man powerful in words and deeds. In the end though, it wasn’t Moses or Pharaoh who got the praise. All the glory went where it belonged.
To God be the all glory and all the praise! He alone is worthy!